This post will be more informal and less conceptual as I am pressed for time.
Today I’m overly aware of the balance that I’m not achieving. That balance is between artist and shaman. So far I gone too far in either direction and consequently not far enough in the other. In many ways I feel this is related to my discussion on the authentic. It’s like it’s a scale marked by artist and shaman with authentic falling somewhere in different for each person.
I am either too far into shamanism that I fail to be artistically engaged or engaging. Though I am doing work I enjoy that has impact, the impact is seen as not enough. I imagine it as water and in place of ripples its expected I make waves. Unfortunately, I don’t know how. There is no recipe for performance. There is no one way of doing it or an easy answer on how to make it meaningful for you and your audience. I straddle the fence and everyone has their own ideas about what is good art and what is valuable contributions.
Micro-rant begins now. There is a problem with my materials. In this case the material is chalk and simply put my materials are not valued. The materials create an automatic response from people that has been, and will likely continue to be, dismissal. I’m frustrated. Mostly because I don’t know how to get around the issue. Whether or not the materials are objective an issue I can’t say for sure. I don’t think that chalk is inherently a wrong material, and I hear and understand the comments on the aesthetic of its current usage. I’ve only worked with it twice now and people’s prejudices are hard to work with.
I will be bold because even now I am concerned with how my professor or classmates might think of they read this.
I am not opposed to chalk! I like low or non-art materials. I find value in the dismissal of works based on the material. The dismissal becomes its own work for me about systems of value. If you ignore me because I am drawing with chalk that is a you problem. I would comfortably say you have a narrow value system that I believe limits your experience of the world. I intentionally choose children’s materials at times because they are frequently and easily dismissed. Children are treated the same way. Young people. People we don’t value. We assign values arbitrarily or based on our own experiences but that is the basis of human exceptionalism. Maybe I’m reaching but I would say we think ourselves so special and important that what we think and perceive is “truth”.
That is a delusion.
I intentionally place meaning and significance in my materials. Furthermore, my values are equal to yours. Rant over!
At the end of all of this I would like to clarify that I might change my mind. I may look back in days, weeks, or hours and reconsider the chalk. I want someone to take the time to understand that I did, I thought, I made because at that time I thought it was the best way.
P.S. I will upload photos this weekend for those interested in seeing what my work actually looks like. I’m sorry I haven’t already.