A daily blog requires writing daily. Even when you feel like you could sleep until winter and then hibernate with the bears. Posting everyday has been very rewarding for me though. I enjoy the effort I put in and the response I get from doing it. I am reminded though of my friend Miah who once told me it’s better to give 70 percent everyday than promise to give 100. He was right. You can’t give all of yourself to anyone or anything. You certainty can’t do that everydayallthetime. I’m trying to embrace that but I’m such an extreme person. I’m either in or out with little debate. So today as I sit on the couch after yet another grey bath I’m faced with mixed feelings. I want to be doing more but simultaneously want to rest.
Take today for example… I had my morning planned out it was going to be awesome until some one-on-one time with my prof. I decided to do more experiments today using paint instead of charcoal! This was not my first decision. This morning I had reminded myself to take a break so my skin could heal up but faced with the idea of going home or working I chose work. I can make up all the excuses I want but at the end of the day I just feel lazy or useless if I’m not being active. To fight that I create impossible lists of tasks and play time management tetris until it’s 10pm and I can’t keep my eyes open.
Time management is a good thing. Overloading yourself is a bad thing. I also think that giving 100% is what leaves me devastated. I pour everything into it and when it flops I can’t move on. I have nothing left it feels.
This all leads me to discuss my idol: The Flash. He is my favourite superhero for many reasons mostly his speed. He nevers fails to get things done, he has limitless energy , and tries make the world better! But there are other sides to him seen in story arcs where he is losing time, where time/speedforce is tearing open, or my favourite! When he travels back in time with the intent to kill himself to save others. He is my most relatable hero. Having The Flash as my hero reminds me to be the best me but also understand my limits. In most story arcs he has to stop using his powers until he can understands the problem well enough to fix it. Like all the experiments I do until I realize the best way to make a piece.
Right now I only have lame metaphors in mind so I will spare you and instead address reality. I keep saying I will put up photos but I won’t, at least not here. I will get my website in order this weekend so that if you want images you can pursue them. That’s part of being 70%. I could do more today or tomorrow, but I have other interests and needs. Like replying to your comments!
Thanks for sticking with me,