Hello again everyone! I’m glad to have you back. I’m feeling optimistic this morning. I woke up around 8 then laid on the floor for an hour so I didn’t fall back to sleep and managed to shower, have tea and breakfast followed by yoga. I’m not just giving you a play by play. I’m trying to describe the actions of my ideal self- minus the laying on the ground part… My ideal self is someone who wakes up and does things. Lots of things. Everythings!
I understand people existing as the closest alternative to the ideal self which I consider the best self. The you that is most fulfilled and you-like. To explain it I’ll tell you about myself in three ages.
Age 8. In the second grade I imagined I would grow up to blonde and busty. My desire for these prompted me to drink lots of milk (I thought it helped breasts grow) and spraying lemon juice in my hair before going outside. However, at 16 I had dyed my hair black, adorned myself with 17 piercings, and was flat as a board and lactose intolerant. My young self would not have been pleased to know this, but the 16 year old me was being my “best self”.
Before jumping to 20 (present day Ange) I want to explain why an 8 year old my valued that self. EVERYONE in my family is blonde and not just casual blonde but eleven white kinda blonde. I remember wanting desperately to look like them I valued the appearance of fitting in. As people should I matured and valued the relationship I had with my family. As you can tell from previous posts I love my family and all the kids. I’m the second oldest of 11 grandchildren, our youngest is 4 possibly 5. As there were more kids under me I really began changing. Trying to be someone really cool that my cousins could admire.
Today as a 20 year old I embrace activity. When I wake up and do yoga I am satisfied at my ability to exercise discipline and precision. I used personal appearance as a simple way of describing value, desire, and how it affects the self. My ideal self has changed dramatically over the years and in currently undergoing reimaging now that I have lived away from home for a year. Right now my best self that feels most me is organized and efficient. My best self is actively fighting against the urge to cave in and do nothing. I hope that is someone worth admiring.
I’ll talk more about this when I have a better way of phrasing it but I want to leave you thinking about your ideal self and your est self. I see the ideal me as somewhat dangerous because of how unattainable she is. The best self is just what it seems. It is me at my best. Doing my best, trying my best!
P.S. Feature image (I’m not quite sure how where it gets displayed) is some studies I did when I thought “Ugh, I’ll never be good at arting.” I include the edges of the sketch book because! I’m wearing my favourite jammies and nail polish.