This is the third time I’ve started over because I can’t express what I’m trying to. I’ll just start and then end somewhere.
I haven’t done a lot of art work since summer started. I have gone out and seen some galleries though. I even did crits of the work with Faith. We talked about why and how some pieces were successful. I’m good at doing that with other work but not my own. Got a guess as to why? Mine doesn’t exist. It comes back to what Timon told me about comparing myself to others. It’s easier for me to correct other works and to help them grow and change than my own because I’m too afraid to fail and resort to doing nada.
I really shouldn’t be. Failure is sometimes the only way we can learn. I once read in an article for class “You can’t fail if you’re trying”. Even Sun Ra chimes in my life with “Your wisdom will be when you say ‘I do not know'”. I posted those sayings up in my studio to reflect on daily and yet… I have made nothing.
I posted an image of cupcakes because that’s something I’ve never been afraid to try. I have made so many disasters cakes and icings. I like to think the confidence I have in baking is because it’s got an immediate reward (consumption) and I’ve never been taught. I’m self taught when it come to baking and so my failures are dismissal like “I didn’t know any better” and then there are the recipes. If only art had recipes… I’m so sure John Baldessari wrote out some instructions for selling art. Google it of you want.
Cupcakes are also so easy to make nice. Same goes for cookies. I make rad desserts. When I look at them though I wish I could paint, sculpt, or draw them. I wish it was as easy for me to make as it is to bake .
This summer i keep telling myself I’m going to make something and it’ll be awesome and I’ll feel fulfilled. I don’t think that will happen because I’m just putting way too much pressure on a single work robe my masterpiece. *sigh* I can’t even motivate myself. I just feel like “what’s the point?” I know successful artists are like “Just do it” ie. Neil Gaiman’s speech about making good art – even if your cat explodes. Andy Warhol said something similar “while they are deciding if it’s good art make more”.
I’m reflecting as I write this. 3rd time’s the charm could hold true beyond the title of this blog haha. I could always just make a piece again and again until it’s right. No shame in repeating.
Well, I’ll talk to you again soon. Maybe by then I’ll have art related images. In the meantime I thought I should mention I have a youtube channel too. Angekid. (I’m super creative) It has some performance work on it and some sketches for performative pieces.