Like most people I have anxiety. This is so common I don’t even mention it anymore. I was first diagnosed with Generally Anxiety Disorder in the 8th grade. It was confirmed every year after. No one was surprised, my family has a history (like most) in poor mental health. Mom said I was always an anxious child. You know what? It doesn’t matter what happens, it matters what you do about it. Dr.G taught me this is my first year psych class. It stuck with me ever since.
I don’t choose anxiety. I choose my response.
When I couldn’t sleep last night I decided I would write about my anxiety here today. I was worrying about school and the Edmonton expo. The kids are staying with me which has so many things to worry about… like Zane’s inability to sleep away from home. He had to be picked up from camp both nights he was there. Ugh, Brielle and her wild snoring too. Zane can sleep fine next to a family member (with the exception of Brielle). He’s going to share a bed with Faith, and Blur will sleep beside Brielle.
Unfortunately, Faith triggers the sensation of impending doom feeling.
As boring as it sounds, Faith and Blur have social anxiety. They treat theirs with medication. Instead of meds I’ve seen counsellors since the 3rd grade when my tummy aches were diagnosed psychosomatic. I’m not opposed to medication – to each their own – the issue I have is the lack of counselling that often accompanies meds. At the Calgary expo Faith and Blur struggled with their nervousness, the crowds, the maps, and “being introverts” (I could rant for days about that bs excuse). After only a few hours they were wiped. I just think “If I’m going with the kids I can’t be managing two adult women”.
I have an 8 and 11 year old to care for. The kids are pumped! But my excitement is overshadowed by fears of potential problems. But guys, it doesn’t matter what happens it matters what I do. I know I can talk myself through anything. I force myself regularly to keep on doing, to have courage instead of fear. Be strong, courageous! The best Ange. That’s my trick. That’s my coping method.
I do feel better sharing this with you guys. Maybe you can relate or maybe this is a new world view to you.
I’d love to hear from you!