Always Returning

I started writing a blog last spring as part of a class. I wanted to find a better way of articulating and talking about my work in a more relatable way. Now I write because I achieved my goal of talking better and I’m invested. Emotionally invested. The last time I wrote was November 30th, more than a month ago… since then I ran away home between semesters and skipped out on all remaining commitments. I don’t like running but sometimes that’s what you have to do. What I missed most about writing here was that it helps me deal with sticky and painful feelings.

Since getting back to Edmonton I’ve watched most of the Justice League (JL from here on out) movies on Netflix and decided that’s what I wanted to write about today. I’m a huge DC fan. My favourite heros are the Flash, Aquaman, and Green Lantern. My husband summed up my admiration of them with a single word each, righteous, faithful, and will respectively. I like these three because they are real heroes. They are people whose work and powers go together smoothly, but not effortless. For the other 4 of JL all have to choose between one or the other. They can’t be both. They are the antithesis of seamless! They are reversible clothing.

Righteousness describes a state of moral goodness or justifiability. I have always look up to the Flash because of his power to do everything but not. He rushes everywhere, completes tasks, saves the day, but still gets down about his failures. The times he couldn’t be there. When he couldn’t be enough, like saving his mom (watch the animated film JL flashpoint for more.) He uses his power in unique ways! He always finds an answer. In all the variations of him I’ve seen or read this is essential to his character and the best word for it is righteous. Even when he can’t do the “right” thing he is justified. In the film I mentioned he must choose between timelines ultimately meaning he must choose which entire world exists… He weighs the pro and cons. Thinking through his action before deciding the course and pursuing it.

Faithfulness. Aquaman and his Atlantean wife Mera (who is badass and helpful) are an incredible example of what it means to be faithful. To be loyal to someone or something with consistency in spite of difficulty. Aquaman is supposed to be the best king for Atlantis because he is of “both worlds” and of mixed blood being human + Atlantean. He demonstrates endurance through difficulty as he repeatedly tries to prevent his peoples from going to war with each other. He does what I can’t. He saves the day by finding compromises or by pointing out the flaws and wrong thinking of the people he cares for and wants to protect. The man manages to keep peace and true love at his side. This is something I *really* want you to notice. He has a wife. One of the only married heros and Mera isn’t some house mouse of their castle under the sea. She is amazingly power and equal to her husband. They disagree and compromise together. Important things to learn from  as I’ve been married 18 months (together 4 1/2 years) and struggle more than I want to with this.

Will. Green Lantern is Hal Jordan, an arrogant playboy fighter pilot… sounds like  a real dream come true hey? As Green Lantern he is a amazing. He uses his skills as a pilot to be best at lantern policing. If you have never heard of him here is the quickie: there are 7 colours of lanterns each representing an emotion and these emotions are powers manifest through rings that are worn by those chosen by the ring. The green lanterns decided/given the purpose of being the universe’s police force. Green is will and in the film Green Lantern first flight it is contrasted by yellow – fear. Will and fear. I pause and think about it often. Hal is highly effective because of his arrogance (a quality I share) but it also causes him grief when he messed up. It’s hard to recover from failure when you believe yourself to be so great! Super relatable. His best and worst quality all wrapped up as one. The devastation of failing and the fear of failure looming and that’s what stops the ring’s power.

I could write some much more about these heroes but it’s getting late on my end and I know it all comes down to the same thing for me. I want heros that actually inspire me. Ones who do always get the job done right, or can fix anything. I don’t want anti heroes with tragic flaws but I do need heros who understand suffering because they also know how to move past it. I’ll have a follow up post about the other 4 and why I Love but don’t admire them.

I’m going through rough times and hope to write more even if it’s a little thing it could be the whole world.

-Ange Kid

P.S. Here is the link to my performance last month!!



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