Whatever I said is false.

This will be gross and tmi.

I’m currently at the dentist. I can’t tell if I’m hungry. The appointment is two hours long and truthfully people I’m falling apart. I experience epic psychosomatic symptoms. I had a panic attack all night. No joke. I woke up at two thinking I was hungry and spent the next few hours with the worst diarrhea of my life and every time I tried to eat or drink I’d gag. It’s unfortunate to say this a common experience for me. Not to this degree but my body is sensitive in a way you can’t possibly imagine.

Back story to the main event. My dad passed away when I was 16. It was traumatic. He never met my husband. It’s a gaping wound of sorts. Close friend said to me “your dad wouldn’t approve of your marriage and you know it” super false and totally damaging. And it sent me into an anxious spiral. I hurt. I’m sad. I love my husband. This friend is not so friendly right now. I just need to share my pain today.

– Ange


5 thoughts on “Whatever I said is false.

  1. I hope your appointment passes quickly. The things your friend said sound unhelpful. Nobody can comment on how your dad would have felt. I’m sure she’s a good friend but you do the right thing in disregarding her comment. I’m sure your dad is looking down on you very proudly đŸ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am very sorry that times are tough and for your loss. I honestly cannot imagine how it must feel. Ignore the meanness if you are happy and well and love him, that’s all that matters:) (of course take advice from a single 18 year old lol) I truly hope you start to feel better. I love reading your blog. It’s so real and personal!


    1. Thanks Kendall. You are sweet. Things seem to be getting worse before they get better. It’s another day of panic attacks since my friend tried to apologize. I think I’m just done with them. It’s been a long time coming….

      Liked by 1 person

      1. You are welcome and thanks:) I know how that feels….sometimes it just can’t be helped. But that doesn’t mean that it won’t hurt a lot. I genuinely wonder sometimes why we get close to things if we end up getting so hurt in the end. It’s a pain…

        Liked by 1 person

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