This will be gross and tmi.
I’m currently at the dentist. I can’t tell if I’m hungry. The appointment is two hours long and truthfully people I’m falling apart. I experience epic psychosomatic symptoms. I had a panic attack all night. No joke. I woke up at two thinking I was hungry and spent the next few hours with the worst diarrhea of my life and every time I tried to eat or drink I’d gag. It’s unfortunate to say this a common experience for me. Not to this degree but my body is sensitive in a way you can’t possibly imagine.
Back story to the main event. My dad passed away when I was 16. It was traumatic. He never met my husband. It’s a gaping wound of sorts. Close friend said to me “your dad wouldn’t approve of your marriage and you know it” super false and totally damaging. And it sent me into an anxious spiral. I hurt. I’m sad. I love my husband. This friend is not so friendly right now. I just need to share my pain today.